In no particular order, here are a bunch of things I’ve decided to do as part of the program.

1. Walking/Running at least 3 times a week, in order to increase endurance and speed, for fleeing as necessary.
2. Weights/Climbing. Not sure which… This may necessitate getting a membership at Planet Granite. If I can afford it. Do they ever have coupons? Or guest passes?
3. Emergency Medical Training with Mountain View CERT. Dependent on when they run their next class.
4. Practice marksmanship. I’ve already gone shooting a few times, and J is more than happy to take me.
5. Practice Situational Awareness. Tadao gave me a major head start on that one when we went walking last week, pointing out places zombies could be hidden, items that could be used as weapons, and which buildings would be safe and which would fall to the zombie hordes immediately. The man is actually kinda terrifying when you think about it. Except he’s so nice! Maybe it comes from playing cops on TV…

I also have a preliminary list of training manuals and research materials.

1. World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War – Love this book. Read it for work two years ago. Still tickled that my undergrad stars so prominently in it.
2. The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead – I clearly need to get a copy of this.
3. The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks – And possibly this…
4. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem! – I have a copy of this I need to read.
5. SAS Survival Handbook, Revised Edition: For Any Climate, in Any Situation – Definitely, definitely this.

Anyone interested in taking the EMT class with me? Or doing any of the other things on the list? I know Cormac’s down for chasing each other through the park while pretending to be zombies. Maybe we could start a Zombie Apocalypse Reading Group (ZARG) or Zombie Apocalypse Watching Group for movies (ZAWG)*.

*This means everyone who came to watch Dead Snow with J and me a month or so ago is an honorary member of ZAWG already.

My friend Tadao Tomomatsu began to show me how to look at houses to assess Zombie Apocalypse Resistance (which I think I’ll call ZAR score, and which I have randomly decided will range from 1 to 5). For example…

Only one of these two houses has a chance of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse; can you tell me why?

House 1

House 2

It’s not location. They’re only about a block apart, along a busy street. But look at House 1! That pretty arching window looks like a perfect place for a zombie to make a dramatic appearance, don’t you think? It even looks kinda like a target. So let’s say that’s a -1 on the ZAR scale.

The door to the house, which is hidden in shadow in the first picture, is pretty much the same shape, just smaller. But still with lots of glass. It would be far too easy for a zombie to smash through.  – 1.

The front yard is easy access, too. No wall. No gate. No moat. No sharpened stakes placed at angles. Just flat grass and a cement walkway. That’s another – 1.

There’s a decent sniper position, using the small windows on the right side of the house. It would be quite possible to pick off zombies from there should you be so lucky as to have a firearm handy. Or a crossbow, I suppose. But I’d vote for the firearm. That might work to take out a party of five zombies. But a large group would push right through and run you out of ammo. So… let’s say that’s a + 0.5

And then… single level. No upper floor to hide out in while the zombies rampage below (because we all know they’re totally going to get in). – 1

ZAR score = 1.5

Now for House 2. Look at those windows! I love those windows. Not just because their uniform neatness makes my OCD happy. But look how high they are off the ground. And how small. No zombie of a size small enough to squeeze through is going to be able to reach, without climbing over the decaying bodies of its brethren. Which could happen. But it would take a while for the zombie carcasses to pile up high enough. +1

Plus, the windows make a good snipering location to pick off zombies as they approach. +1

The front yard is open, it’s true. But the concrete path doesn’t lead straight up to the door, unimpeded. There’s a wrought iron gate set into a wall of concrete bricks (hard to see in the photo, my apologies). +1

You can’t even see the front door from the street. That’s good. + 1

Single story, though. The zombies get in, and you’re toast. -1

ZAR score = 3